let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
