just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
