That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dick very happy bro
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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