I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
