Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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