Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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