girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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