Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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