worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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