; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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