hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
