Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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