if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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