I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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