I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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