how can u be prego again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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