we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
