And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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