There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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