ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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