Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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