At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
