woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
