Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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