Can i not drive my cunt home
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
