btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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