So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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