ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
