Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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