I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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