Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
