I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
