I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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