I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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