two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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