I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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