let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
