Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
