last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
