Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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