how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I will pee on everything he values.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
