So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
