i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
