using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
