so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
