We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
