If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need a beard to bite.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
