if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize