Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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