You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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