My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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