there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
