She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
