shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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