Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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