Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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