Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
