I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
