Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize