I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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