Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize