Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
