He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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